How to Get Pregnant the Fastest – A Guide for Parents-to-Be Who Are Worried About Their Fertility
A Guide for Joyful Conception
In the Los Angeles urbanite population I treat, it is rare for someone to just fall pregnant unexpectedly. Birth control needs to be stopped, and then people begin “trying.” Other times a sperm donor needs to be chosen, and the delivery to the ova has to be coordinated and organized. Nothing can sap the pleasure from your sex life like trying to organize a pregnancy!
My wish is
For intended parents to have an easy– even fun-- go at it,
to minimize the number of parents who move onto heavier interventions
and for those rare cases that really need IVF, for it to work the first time in order to preserve your bank account, long term health, and sanity.
Before I get started on the best way to go about this, let me briefly remind you that even for heterosexual couples under 35 whose labs are all within normal ranges, the chances for conception per cycle is 40%! And the likelihood of carrying that fetus to term is 25% at best. After a lifetime of carefully avoiding– even fearing – pregnancy, this statistic can come as quite a shock. I say it to remind you that equanimous patience and respect for the mysterious forces at play is necessary.
You can combine this patience with an easy-going commitment to feeling good in your body. Sustaining a pregnancy is extra, and the work of a well-functioning and well-nourished body. Here is a secret from our profession – there is no fertility acupuncture point, and acupuncture and herbs are the only treatments that make you feel better while receiving them!
When I say that there is no “fertility point”, I mean that each treatment is individualized to your body. If someone is pooping too much, or not enough, or if their periods are painful, or too frequent, or too scanty, or if their sleep is poor, or any number of minor or major health complaints, these are all indicators of health that can be improved. I have seen so many times in my practice that when symptoms are resolved for both the contributor of the sperm and the contributor of the ova, and there is abundant egg-white cervical mucus at the right time in the cycle, couples get pregnant.
If you are reading this, you are probably eager to go straight for the prize! Let’s first define the prize so that I know we are on the same page. I want you to have a healthy pregnancy, delivery, and child who is easily able to procreate down the line if that is what they choose to do. So often we get caught up on conception, forgetting that it is just the first station on the road.
If you are eager to reach this destination as soon as possible, here is what I recommend.
The quickest route to a healthy pregnancy and baby has both partners simultaneously commit to at least 3 months of regular acupuncture and herbal treatment.
When I say partners throughout this text, I mean the contributor of the sperm and ova. Whatever their relationship to each other, they are entering into a sacred partnership to engender new life.
Luckily, the time it takes for follicles to be recruited, develop, and become the egg that pops out during ovulation and the time it takes for the tiny seed cells that become the sperm in the ejaculate is approximately the same time, roughly about 3 months. Healthy ova and sperm are not just key to conception, but also to continued development of the embryo into a fetus and then into a baby. The health of the mother, unsurprisingly, contributes to the health of the pregnancy, but so does the health of the sperm, surprisingly!*
Having both partners start treatment at the same time means that your increased fertility is synced. Acupuncture, herbs, and lifestyle changes require financial, emotional, and time commitments –when one side of the couple waits to come in, it can drag the process out unnecessarily. Worse, people can begin to feel discouraged.
Give your body (and me) time to do our work! Natural conception is like tending a garden, so we need to allow our efforts to flourish.
Of course you and your partner must make the decisions that are best for you, and no one can know your destiny. But what I have seen over and over again is that when couples decide to go back in for a medicated IUI or a stim cycle and egg retrieval, our work is set back. Exogenous hormones create heat, stimulated ovulation depletes the juicy healthy ova in the process of recruitment. You will get the best and fastest results if you wait until both partners are exhibiting ideal health markers, try again naturally at least one more month after that, and then turn to more severe interventions if you feel called to do so or your situation obviously requires it.
Let Yourselves be Led by the Egg-white Cervical Mucus and Increases in Libido, and Surprising Tips about Frequency of Ejaculation and Sperm Quality
I mention this because the flood of information about how to time intercourse seems to complicate matters. Just know that you have the best shot at getting pregnant when there is egg white cervical mucus. This comes before you ovulate, and is essentially a mini-highway for the sperm to safely get into place and wait for their egg. This highway is so safe and helpful for the sperm that they can live up to 5 days in this more basic substance that protects them from the more acidic environment of the vagina and uterus. Sex the day you ovulate is too late.
Pee on strips if you want to, but have sex when there is EWCM. This usually corresponds with a spike in libido. If your mucus is scant or your libido is low, don’t worry – we can work on that.
If you have any reason to expect issues with the sperm, frequency of ejaculation becomes important. Studies show that when there is decreased sperm volume, the quality of the sperm (motility and normal morphology, or how well it moves and how normal the shape) improves with daily ejaculation. Too much time between the ejaculation decreases the quality in this scenario.+
People with normal sperm parameters should not go longer than 10 days before trying to fertilize an egg.+ Close study of sperm quality also shows that prolonged stimulation before ejaculation also increases quality, so spend some time on the act, or ask your donor to go slow when donating.
Have FUN!
I don’t just mean in the sack, but sure, that, too! Live your life and have fun. Spend your free time doing what you love with your partner, friends, and family. It is very easy for the fertility journey to overtake your life, so actively counterbalance that.
As your symptoms begin to align for optimal fertility, your acupuncturist will be able to titrate your care. Visits become less frequent as your body and mind know what to do, giving you more freedom to enjoy yourself and your time on this planet.
I remember a patient telling me about a consultation with her psychic about her fertility journey. She told her psychic about the house she was preparing for her future child, and other things she had done to get her material world in order. Her psychic told her that her future child cared nothing about any of those things, but he was really excited about their dogs! Whether or not psychics are your thing, the message is still valuable. If you are getting caught up in the slog of “trying”, try to realign to joy.
In Some Circumstances, Avoiding Pregnancy for a Month or Two is a Faster Way to a Healthy Pregnancy and Baby
If there is a history of recurrent miscarriage, I like to ask my patients to avoid pregnancy for at least a month or two. Obviously this couple has no problem getting the egg and sperm to meet, but something about the egg or sperm quality or the uterine environment or some combination of these factors is keeping the embryo from being able to continue development.
With each loss, even when early, there is further depletion of the woman, as much blood and qi is lost with the miscarriage. I much prefer to get things working well before moving forward to pregnancy, because each miscarriage requires recovery time. This is an example of working more slowly to save time.
Key Takeaways
Conception is the first step in the journey — maximizing you fertility helps insure a healthy pregnancy, delivery, and child
Synchronized simultaneous treatment of both partners saves the most time, money, and heartache
You can track less and enjoy yourselves more by letting egg white cervical medicine guide your timing
A strategic pause to (re-)optimize fertility after pregnancy loss will bring you to a healthy pregnancy much faster than barreling ahead
*Carlos Galaviz-Hernandez, Martha Sosa-Macias, Enrique Teran, Jose Elias Garcia-Ortiz, Blanca Patricia Lazalde-Ramos (2019). Paternal Determinants in Preeclampsia. Frontiers in Physiology,
+Eliahu Levitas, Eitan Lunenfeld, Noemi Weiss, Michael Friger, Iris Har-Vardi, Arie Koifman, Gad Potashnik (2005). Relationship between the duration of sexual abstinence and semen quality: analysis of 9,489 semen samples. Fertility and Sterility, Volume 83, Issue 6 p1680-1686